sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I didn't notice because vodka
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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