why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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