READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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