You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize