Ambien. No doubt about it.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
