You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
