I love black thongs
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
