eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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