Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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