Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
