There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize