I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
