HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
