I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
