Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
