Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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