K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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