Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just high enough for therapy.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
