fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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