the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
