Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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