god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
