your room smells of hookers.
And success
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
