what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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