im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
