he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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