..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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