people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
