im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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