once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
