Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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