Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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