He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
