he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
