i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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