I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
