I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The Olympian is in my bed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
