when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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