I have demons in me.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
