I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
