a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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