My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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