I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
