distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
