Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
