Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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