did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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