Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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