I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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