The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You dont lie about slip and slides
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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