oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
