it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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