you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
