Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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