just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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