I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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